The evil creature that lives in the gym has recently (and for the first time) acquired a friend of its own. Freshman musical theater major Julia Gordier decided that creature seemed like it would make a good first friend. As it turns out, they both share a passion for chess!
When asked why she decided to approach the creature rather than do literally anything else, Gordier said, “I guess I just didn’t want regular friends. People can be kind of boring. Creatures, however, have never steered me wrong.”
Some people empathize with the creature, with Junior music major Erica Reynolds even saying, “I think that it’s been alone for far too long. It’s about time it made a friend. I’m glad to hear it.” When asked if the creature being evil had any impact on her opinions, Reynolds said, “I think that even evil things need friends. Some of the most evil people I know have plenty of friends.”
Some dissenting voices rose from the crowd, stating their belief that evil things should not have friends. One such example, senior health science major Joshua Clere said, “It’s evil, plain and simple. That’s all there is to say. It shouldn’t have a friend, and it shouldn’t be near a school at all in my opinion. I remember once it wandered onto the court, and that was a really bad day. We had to dodgeball through it. Do you even know what that’s like? Ew.”
When asked if this will affect the creature’s choice to be evil, it said, “I don’t think I’m going to stop, if that’s what you’re asking. I like being evil, I really do. I think it’s my calling, so I guess that’s my answer for you. No, I have no plans to stop being evil.”
