They were the ‘It’ couple of the early 2000s.
Rihanna, the perfect pop princess.
And Chris Brown, the charming “bad boy.”
Ask your older sisters, your parents: Chris Brown and Rihanna ruled the age of Y2K.
From Pon De Replay, to Umbrella–Rihanna solidified her place as a quintessential star.
With his sultry voice, and eye-catching stage presence–Chris Brown stayed on top of the charts, and in people’s hearts.
Their relationship seemed to be the thing of fairy tales.
Often photographed smiling together, holding hands, having romantic late-night dates: The world fell so deeply in love with them, that it was almost impossible for anyone to guess what came next.
Chris Brown and Rihanna met as teenagers in 2004, with Rihanna being 17, and Chris being 16. They were first photographed together in 2005, backstage at Z100 Jingle Bell Ball.
Their paths continued to cross after that night.
After their performance at the 2008 Jingle Bell Ball, people began speculating that they were dating.
However, the pair denied any romance.
“We are best friends, honestly, like brother and sister.” — Rihanna
Following the success of her Grammy-winning album, Good Girl Gone Bad, the two of them recorded a remix of her lead single, “Umbrella.”
The speculation continued until the pair finally confirmed their relationship in 2008.
Their relationship seemed, to the naked eye, perfect. She was smiling in every picture taken of them, and Chris is staring at her as if she is the sun personified.
Perfection. Adoration.
But, that was the public persona. Unbeknownst to us, it was anything but a fairy tale. For Rihanna, it was an abusive nightmare.
The 2009 Grammys. Rihanna and Chris Brown were set to perform as a duo, and fans were lining up in hopes to even see the couple.
However, Rihanna and Chris wouldn’t end up performing that night. They actually wouldn’t perform together ever again, be a couple, or even make it to the Grammys.
Before progressing further, I’d like to give a fair warning: In the next fiveparagraphs, there will be detailed descriptions of domestic abuse, and it could be triggering to some.
On the night prior to the Grammys, Chris and Rihanna were driving around in a Lamborghini. While driving, Chris admits to Rihanna that he had been unfaithful, cheating on her with a coworker. Rihanna becomes upset, throws Chris’ phone, and screams, “I hate you!”
“Like I remember she tried to kick me, just like her beating sh*t, but then I really hit her. With a closed fist, like I punched her, and it busted her lip, and when I saw it I was in shock, I was ‘fu*k, why did I hit her like that? So from there she’s…spitting blood in my face, it raised me even more. It’s a real fight in the car, and we driving in the street.” – Chris Brown
Chris alleges that Rihanna attempts to “grab his crotch” while she was attempting to get her phone, in retaliation, he bites her.
Rihanna then gets out of the car, and begins screaming, “Help! He’s trying to kill me!”
From there, Chris Brown is arrested and sentenced to 5 years probation.
The world is horrified, heartbroken, and confused. How could a seemingly perfect couple have so many secrets? How could Chris Brown look at Rihanna with so much affection in his eyes, and then beat her black and blue?
Domestic abuse normally happens behind closed doors, with victims often feeling like they must keep it secret. Many people feel alone, as if they will not be accepted or loved if they come forward.
1 in 3 women have experienced domestic abuse at the hands of a partner, and 1 in 4 men have as well. Domestic abuse should not be treated as a taboo, or as a subject that carries a stigma.
To ensure domestic abuse stops, we must invite survivors to the table, and listen to them speak. Educate yourself, and be a safe space for someone to come to you and say, “I’m struggling.”
Rihanna and Chris Brown’s romance isn’t just celebrity gossip, it’s a very public unraveling of a relationship–as people, we must remember that all celebrities, underneath the glitz, glamour, and paparazzi are human beings too.
Rihanna is an example of a woman who has overcome her traumas. She is open about her healing process, and is a vocal advocate for both men and women who are victims of Domestic Abuse.
Her hit song “Love On The Brain” details her process of overcoming her struggles, and is a beautiful representation of her coming to terms with the abuse she went through.
“Oh, and baby I’m fist fighting with fire
Just to get close to you
Can we burn something, babe?
And I run for miles just to get a taste
Must be love on the brain
That’s got me feeling this way (feeling this way)
It beats me black and blue but it f–ks me so good
And I can’t get enough
Must be love on the brain yeah
And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name)
No matter what I do, I’m no good without you
And I can’t get enough
Must be love on the brain”
If you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Abuse, call the Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233.
You are not alone.