Recently, some middle school students have been suspected to have made a habit of pretending to be high school students.
According to testimony from high school students and teachers, they achieve this by wearing a trench coat and standing on each other’s shoulders. Some students believe there could be as many as 57 middle school students posing in the high school. While one might think that a pair of middle schoolers in a trench coat would be obvious, several reports claim that they are surprisingly stealthy.
This dangerous behavior seems to be motivated by a desire to make their way back into the high school building after being quarantined to a separate building at the start of last year.
When asked what they plan to do to prevent the issue from spreading further, administration said, “We want [. . .] middle school students [. . .] in the high school.” As of yet, no official action has been taken to prevent middle school students from entering the high school.
“This issue has been blown entirely out of proportion. It would be far too obvious for any student to get away with it for more than a few hours,” said one trench coat wearing member of administration.
Some students feel that the school needs to do more to address this potential problem. Junior pre-law major from New Castle, Evan Summer, said, “Every day, when I walk to my classes, I trust that the people around me are fellow high school students. The fact that I can’t even say that with full confidence makes me sick to my stomach.”
On the other hand, some think that more should be done to address the concerns of the middle school. One such example is Serena Cross, who claims to be a freshman writing and publishing major from Hopewell. “All we really need to do is bring them back into the building with us,” Cross suggests. “If they felt welcomed, then they wouldn’t have to do any of that stuff.”
There are also a few dissenting voices who deny it outright, claiming that there is no possible way for a middle school student to imitate a high school student. Contrary to these opinions, senior music major, Ross Anderson, recounts an encounter he had with a suspected middle school student. “It happened late in third block. The upstairs bathroom in Alumni Hall was full, so I had to go downstairs, and that’s when I saw it. There was a middle schooler standing there, out in the open, like he wasn’t even ashamed.”
But it’s the staunchest of middle school opposers who speak the loudest. Senior media major, Jonah McArthur, from Beaver said, “Co-existence with middle schoolers is neither possible, nor honorable, nor desirable. Our long-term objective must be the eradication of middle school from the face of the earth.”
