We all know: there are some things we ought to know. But our modern education system means that you can’t alway be sure of what someone knows—even adults.
The SIREN has decided to quiz LP students and faculty about some topics that were (probably?) addressed in elementary school. Things we know we ought to know, but which we too often let Google know for us.
I spent this past week searching high and low for some dummies who wouldn’t know what Memorial Day was. Someone who thought it was about statues or nice memories or something. So who did I find? I figured I might get something laughable from a seventh grader. After all, they don’t know any better. Stupid sevies. Right?
WRONG.
I spoke to an anonymous seventh grade music major. I thought I should keep it simple, so I just asked “why do we celebrate Memorial Day?”
Dummy answer, dummy answer, dummy answer, pleeeeaaaseee.
But NOPE! That’d be too easy. Instead of something to make fun of, I got some thoughtful crap about “celebrating veterans who have served both alive and dead.”
Ugh.
That’s okay, I’d find someone. After all, kids these days are stupid. Back to the pool of seventh graders. I spoke to a seventh grade writing major. Great, those writing majors never know what they’re talking about. This time I would get it. My stupid answer. Yay!
I don’t know if they colluded, or who told them I’d be asking this, or what kind of scheme Mr Harmon has against me, but AGAIN, I got some goey “it’s to honor people who have fought for our country.”
No problem, I still had time. Probably a coincidence. Maybe these kids were history buffs. I tried another music sevie, who told me, “I think it’s mostly for people who’ve served in all the branches and to just remember on that day.”
OH MY GOSH SOMEONE HURRY UP AND GET IT WRONG!
I’ll try it again because I have to, I guess. Another writing major, maybe the other was a fluke. “Why do we celebrate memorial day?” I asked again.
“Memorial day is mainly about remembering those who fought in the far and lost their lives but also those who’ve fought in the war and survived,” I was informed.
GOODNESS GRACIOUSNESS. Turns out the sevies are brighter than expected. Unless I’m onto something with my Mr Harmon theory.
I tried two sophomores, maybe they’d get it wrong. Maybe. Please. But nope. “It’s to honor veterans.”
How does everyone know this?
I blame Mr Harmon.
I guess it’s a good thing that we didn’t have to Google it.
