For context, I was never going to watch this movie originally. It didn’t necessarily appeal to me. The jokes seemed unfunny, and the concept wasn’t what I was interested in. However, I kept seeing things online that the movie was SO funny and SO original.
This movie does not deserve this hype. In fact, this movie is terrible.
It follows Leo, an Adam Sandler lizard, as he realizes that he’s about to die. Which could be interesting. And he wants to go to the Everglades before he dies. Cool: another kids movie about a journey.
But that journey doesn’t really happen. What we get instead is a movie about a lizard giving advice to ten-year-olds. It reads a lot like a boomer movie, but there isn’t a “phone bad” message. There’s also this lore that all animals can talk to humans but no one can know, which makes zero sense. Did no animals ever talk to humans? Even accidentally?
Even just having animals talk can make sense, but the movie gets even more ridiculous when they introduce other magical elements. They’re in absurd places and are so insignificant, but there’s no context. There’s also a drone that follows a kid into a school. (WHAT?) It’s bad writing.
This movie also attempts to give depth to its characters, but it fails so spectacularly. There’s one kid who’s entire personality is being from the Bronx in Florida, and because he’s from the Bronx, he knows how to drive a bus. I’m not joking. I wish I was.
Most of the jokes are just uncomfortable rather than funny, like when a pregnant teacher, steals a kid’s Cheetos and eats them, which is played for laughs.
And to top it all off, it’s a musical. And not even close to a good one. The songs are terrible and none of the actors can sing at all. Musicals should have good songs so that people can remember them and sing along. I don’t think that I will ever hear anyone sing these awful songs. Especially not “When I Was Ten,” which offers priceless recollections like “When I was nine/I used to leave milk for Santa Claus/And my mom was not in menopause.”
I actually despise this movie, and I don’t think that it deserved the hype it got. It’s pretty bad, and I hope to get the time I spent watching it back.
