ARE YOUR FRIENDS TOXIC? THE ULTIMATE CHECKLIST
January 20, 2021
Ever found yourself wondering if keeping that friendship alive is worth it or not? Maybe you need some time to think it over, or maybe you need somebody else to tell you it’s toxic; either way, I’ve compiled a checklist of things you should look out for when dealing with a relationship that isn’t exactly beneficial.
Disclaimer: even if you find these traits relate back to someone in your life, I would encourage you to at least try and start a conversation.
1. They lack communication. Now, this may be obvious, but chances are someone that intends to keep the friendship one-sided isn’t going to bother to bring up their qualms.
2. Being around them brings out the worst in you, and I mean the worst; it’s either you get super insecure, or you find that you’re participating in a destructive behavior you had otherwise sworn off.
3. They use your insecurities as a conversation topic, especially around other people. By this, I mean bringing up things that you told them that was meant to stay between the two of you. Anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable by weaponizing your own insecurities against you doesn’t deserve your time.
4. This one may also seem obvious: They talk crap on everyone around you. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “Yeah, I gossip about everyone to you because you’re safe. You’re the only one I don’t talk about.” Coming from someone who’s heard that before, that’s a huge red flag. If they have no problem speaking about and disrespecting your other friends behind their backs, chances are they don’t mind doing the same thing to you.
5. Consistent negativity, either pointed towards you or someone else, especially if you’ve voiced how uncomfortable it makes you before. Someone who hasn’t made an effort to change is someone who you might need to think about letting go. It’s okay to get upset with your friends sometimes; it’s something that happens to almost everybody, but if you’ve already voiced your frustration and it’s been met with the same behavior, I’d reconsider keeping that person in your life.
6. My favorite one on this list: hypocrisy. By hypocrisy I mean things like: criticizing your behavior while also doing the same thing (calling you out for gossiping when they do the same), being an advocate for someone while they’re there and their biggest hater when they’re not, and the list goes on. Basically, anyone who sells themselves as a saint but is a snake behind closed doors is someone who you should keep your radar on.
Dealing with a person who leeches onto your life can be difficult and hard to get rid of. I want to let you know that letting anyone go probably won’t be a walk in the park, but I promise that it will be worth it in the end.
It’s important for you be selfish a bit and put yourself first some times, especially if it’s in favor of your own mental well-being.